Stop Dissecting the Wine Blogger: The Mystique in the Locker Room

I've been sitting on this blog for a few days now. Every year now, for almost 10 years, I write one with similar content, while I ponder, "Should I post or ..."  You disagree? Go write your own wine blog, but at least I got your attention with the locker room title. 

Picture this ...

A steamy locker room filled with male wine aficionados. There are magazine clippings with bottles of Château d'Yquem and Châteauneuf-du-Pape taped on the doors of their lockers with color crayoned labels marked, "My Dream Wine." These wine lovers, as they are drying themselves off, mindlessly yet habitually burping and adjusting their  - - junk - - you know, their 14kt gold tastevins around their necks - - anyways - - they start getting frisky, while slapping each other with their wet limp towels, chirping, 

"You're the best wine know-it-all - - ever!" (slap) While another sings back, "No, you are!" (slap) "No!  YOU are!" 

"I love ya man and to prove it, let me buy ya a glass of Brosé. "Yo dude. Brosé? But only if we can smoke cigars while drinking that pink stuff."  

At least this is my visual to amuse me, and to keep me from crying like a girl. However, I believe there are a few other women wine writers who join me in my perspective.  We all know the routine. Once a year there will be, ironically, a male wine blogger, or perhaps even a winemaker, a wine critic, of some sorts, who will thump their chest and rattle a few cages giving the impression that all wine bloggers should be spit upon. "Patooey!" They will pontificate about wine bloggers pontificating. Their fellow readers will make it worse by yammering on about how wine bloggers "don't know what they are talking about," and how "wine bloggers should stop arguing the point system." (Yeah, actually they should stop.) Many critics will assume and parrot-speak the usual "wine bloggers have never sold a bottle of wine, wine bloggers don't understand social media, and if they did; why aren't they writing for a respectable paper rag ... blah blah" - -  and it continues. 

Some wine bloggers will fire back, but mostly male. There will be one or two women who will engage (When will I ever learn?), but often we will go ignored as there are too many big shiny belt buckles jostling and making noises to be heard. It's been my experience that many of my male wine peers will repeat what I had previously stated, but the male wine aficionado will be the one who is heard and addressed. ("Slap," goes the towel.) 

Wine bloggers will get called names and generalized. I've heard it all. A spokesperson from Robert Parker of the Wine Advocate referred to us as "blobbers," Then later came Anthony Dias Blue of the Tasting Panel magazine who referred to us as "bitter carping gadflies." Supposedly one of our own, or I think he is one of "us" as he uses the old and outdated Blogspot format, The Hosemaster, referred to wine bloggers as "attention seeking barking lonely poodles." Did he coin us that as a way for him to  - - well - - seek attention? Bark. Bark.

Just last week, a wine journalist, author, blogger, and a man who I happen to enjoy his forthright political leanings, as well as adore his photos and love for his dog; lashed out about wine bloggers. Ironically, the subject was for bloggers to stop with the insults, while he insulted - - yup, you got it, a whole group of wine bloggers.  He focused on sexism, ageism, and there was a lecture to stop picking on "old white wine guys." With that said, how about us stopping with the "blogism?" Blogism = stereotyping wine bloggers. 

Oh, and of course, I bit. (When will I ever learn?)  I was one of the few women who commented. Why did I engage? Because I fit into all of the categories of these prejudices such as ageism, sexism, and "blogism." I am an old white woman wine blogger! Hell, even at the last wine bloggers conference I attended, three young women assumed I was a mother of a wine blogger waiting for her kid to get out of one of the break-out sessions.  

Now in this discussion of  sexism was the focus of women winemakers, but it's all supposedly good now. (Oh lookie! See? There are too women winemakers now getting a few accolades, and surprisingly they make a pretty decent bottle of wine. How cute is that - a magazine article on "Women Winemakers.") Of course, in my commentary I pointed out there is still sexism, especially since there is a limited amount of women wine writers in national wine print (When will I ever learn?). Sure enough, once again Thomas Matthews, Executive Editor of the Wine Spectator, reminded me for the second time about Dina Nigro, Senior Editor. (When will I ever learn?) And yes, Tom. The next time you are in my 'hood, let's cross paths.

My point? I am really getting tired of the stereotyping and name calling of wine bloggers - aka "blogism." It's not fashionable, anymore. It's getting boring. And I believe I have heard it all in my last 10 years doing this gig. This hissy-fit of the fittest and generalization of all wine bloggers happens at least once a year. 

Stop with the dissecting of the wine blogger. 

In the last ten years, unfortunately I have read much commentary from overstuffed wine "aficionados" who buy into these articles and will create a bigger pile-on criticizing bloggers stating "Wine bloggers will never have the credentials ... knowledge ... blah, blah, and blah." Well, in the last ten years most of the wine bloggers I know, and especially those who have been blogging for awhile, have the credentials and the knowledge. The majority of the wine bloggers who started around the same time I did, and even a few years later, are very accomplished. There's a new group of wine bloggers who are typing up clean, yet colorfully visual wine blogs filled with wine buying approaches for the new wine consumers. Among the bloggers are published wine writers and authors, as well as speakers, marketing directors, judges, and travel wine writers - - and well, even bloggers who just love wine and want to share the love. Needless to say, I am quite proud to be a wine blogger, no matter the critics who jump on the "Hate Wine Bloggers" parade float.  

Sure. In this blog post I am guilty as can be for making generalizations of wine aficionados, especially the locker room scene and the jostling of big belt buckles. My generalizations are based after the same scenarios we see play out every year.  However, I should not assume, as no doubt there are a few of those male critics of wine bloggers who also wear suspenders along with their belts and teeny tarnished belt buckles. And the shower scene? Once again, I should not assume as not all of the male wine lovers in the shower are talking about Rosé, but discussing the point system - - after all. 

Oh what the hell - - let's hit the "publish" button!  

The Care, Feeding, and Responsibility of Wine Bloggers

The care and feeding of a wine blogger is easy: give wine bloggers samplings of wine, some food and water to balance out or enhance the wine, and just as important; overwhelm the wine blogger with good information. 

Now the responsibility of the wine blogger is another story. (Hang on folks, this is going to be a long one ...)

The responsibilities of the wine blogger are many.  After attending the Fifth Annual Wine Bloggers Conference in Portland, Oregon in August; I left with a lot on my mind and many questions. The most important question was, "How can I grow and improve? How can we all grow together as wine bloggers?"

How do we grow together? Like many groups, wine bloggers are of one. The actions of one wine blogger can categorize us all - - unfortunately the good is rarely mentioned, while the bad is always mentioned. We have been called names by the best wine writers in the industry: from boogers, blobbers, and my personal fave, "bitter carping gadflies." We have even been called names ironically by the tedious and acrimonious wine bloggers.

I have been wine blogging since 2005 and certainly seen and felt the growing pains. Blogging was a new tool at the time and established writers were feeling a slight pinch due to this new writing platform. In my opinion the open-minded writer, no matter if they were 100% for this new platform, still embraced it and started their own blogs. The old saying applied, "If we can't beat them, we might as well join them." 

Why are you blogging or why do you even want to start a wine blog? If you think it's because you dig a glass of Arbor Mist Peppermint Chardonnay with the girls during happy hour at Applebees, you love cute pink wine labels with Eiffel Towers, and visiting a winery is so romantic, then you may want to rethink it.  And if you don't believe me, go ask the vineyard workers and the winemaker tomorrow morning at 4:00, with a touch of frost in the air, exactly how romantic wine making is. 

If you want some credibility in wine blogging, you will want to gather as much wine education as possible and even some hands-on experience would be to your credit. The fascinating thing about wine, there is always something to learn.  Recently a young wine blogger dismissed me. Could it have been my gray hair and sensible shoes? How dare I talk to her, let alone sit next to her and she took opportunity to let me know how much she knew about wine, been blogging for about a year, and she was in control of our blind tasting. Yeah, so I played along. When trying to agree on the red wine variety in our glasses, I reached to feel the covered bottle. I mentioned, with a humorous note, that we could eliminate syrah since the bottle had a short neck and high shoulders like in a Bordeaux-style bottle.  

She rolled her eyes, hissed, flipped back her hair, and with a twitch of the head, snapped at me in disgust with her Kardashian voice, "Liiike - - bottle shape like doesn't mean like any-thinggg." 

Bitch. More than often, bottles shape does mean something. Historically and traditionally, different regions adopted their own bottle shapes: Bordeaux, Burgundy, Germany, and even Champagne. Today, many wineries in the New World still follow Old World tradition - if the bottle shape ain't broken, then why fix it?

Please note, it isn't that I want to be an old curmudgeon like the "grumpy old man" character on Saturday Night Live, "I'm old and I'm not happy. Everything today is improved and I don't like it. I hate it! In my day we didn't have computers, we had quills and stone tablets and I liked it that way!"

My feelings are quite the opposite from the grumpy old man. I love youthful ideas, new technology, tools and platforms. The youth of America are tomorrow's wine lovers, so this boomer doesn't need to just concentrate on other Dead-Head boomers. However, I do think that "old curmudgeons" can give out some sage advice. It isn't always about being edgy and a "hipstah," but the responsibilities of a wine blogger are many and certainly easy to endure - - and actually proven if you look at wine bloggers who are successful. 

First of all, know what you are getting into when you are pondering starting a wine blog and no, you are not going to get rich overnight. No, you are not going to build up your wine cellar without some responsibility (be honest about your intentions and upfront about your consideration of reviews) and once again, you will not be the exception of getting rich overnight. Oh and did I mention you are not going to get rich overnight or even in several years? No, you will not get rich in a year, let alone strip away Marvin Shanken's title or even get to sit in his chair, smoke his cigars and drink his brandy. (If you do not know who Marvin Shanken is, you should find out before you start a wine blog.)

The obvious responsibility is to your readers: Find a voice and start building your brand - - you. You are the brand. When blogging give thoughtful and good information. Turn on the spell check a few times while you are typing pontifications and even do some proof-reading the next day. I am guilty of this one, but I recognize my weakness and keep on trying. Be consistent in your publishing so that your audience will know when to return to your blog. Also guilty, but I keep on trying.  

After the wine bloggers conference, it dawned on me or more like a confirmation, that if you want to be a successful wine blogger, you have to act upon and treat it as if you are working or even on a job interview.  Remember what I said about "building your brand." I think the responsibilities can start right at the wine bloggers conference, itself  - -

Identity Crisis: Wine Bloggers

Identity Crisis: according to psychologist Erik Erikson, is the failure to achieve ego identity during adolescence.

An anniversary is coming my way for this wine blog. I started Through the Walla Walla Grape Vine during the last week in June of 2005. At the time of its conception, all I wanted was my own colorful piece of the world wide web - a forum for my collection of thoughts regarding food and wine, and especially those of my hometown. I even wanted a little spot to practice some HTML code. Honestly? I didn't plan on anybody reading this blog other than myself.

Through the years of owning my own piece of the internet, under the title of a "wine blogger," I have been classified as a poodle, ("Wine blogging is the attention-seeking barking of a lonely poodle.") ironically on a wine blog written by a sommelier who gives tours at a winery. 

I suppose I should feel insulted, but I'm not. However, if I were a poodle I would probably lift a hind leg on the accuser and take a big doggie-dump at his front door while hoping my owner forgot to bring the "Poop-E-Pick-Ups."  My juvenile visual is that of my owner ringing the door bell and running ...

My wine blogging peers and I have been referred to as "wine blobbers" by the original wine blobber of the world, Robert Parker (he's just jealous as originally he had to use a jar of ink, a quill and parchment  to write his wine notes instead of a keyboard). And let's not forget the soon-to-be dictionary description  of a wine blogger by Anthony Dias Blue of the Tasting Panel magazine: "bitter, carping gadflies who, as they stare into their computer screens and contemplate their dreary day jobs, let their resentment and sense of personal failure take shape as vicious attacks on the established critical media."

Oh boo-hoo! It is true, ya know. I was staring into my computer screen contemplating my dreary day job as a legal assistant who was bringing home a fine pay check, benies, twice-yearly bonuses, paid holidays, birthday cakes, lunch hours and weekends off. Now I stare into my computer screen contemplating my fun wine job that is bringing home no pay check, a few free glasses of wine; while dreaming about my former pay check, et al from my former dreary day job.  

I have also been lumped as a moocher looking for free samples of alcohol to fill the shelves of my wine cellar. What wine cellar? You mean those four card board boxes  in my laundry room closet? Oh yes,  I forgot about my fancy yard sale eight-bottle wine cooler I bought for $25. If I could afford a wine cellar I wouldn't need free samples now, would I? Besides, the majority of the wines I blog about I have either purchased or spent money on gas  to take a trek to the winery to taste the actual wine.

Recently there seems to be a rumble that I am not a wine blogger, but a wine writer. There's a campaign to remove the term "blogger."  Yeah, I get it.  Web log (shortened to blog) is a web-based format that consists of entries arranged in a reverse chronological order and often updated frequently with new information. Blogging is adding new material or updating the blog. A blogger is a person who keeps and updates the blog.

So the new thought behind all of this is I should be a wine writer who is updating her web log format. At the same time, the old guard of wine writers, I mean the established critical media,  tell me I am not a wine writer because I haven't walked in their shoes and earned my credentials. No, but for eight years on my feet, and in my own shoes, I have earned some credentials talking to people about wine, all along while dumping their spittle.  

The truth of the matter, blogger vs writer, I only refer to myself as a wine writer when I receive a check from the food and wine lifestyle publishers. Then they can call me a poodle, blobber and a carping gadfly for all I care - just give me the money. 

Now the recent news is that what I enjoy is dead. (Oh great, now they tell me after I just finished several drafts.)

That's right, British wine writer and author, Jamie Goode recently announced last weekend on Facebook and Twitter that “Blogging is dead!”  Of course, he would never post such a startling sentence on his own ... ummm ... wine blog.

Hell, I didn't even get life insurance on my blog, let alone a health care directive giving me permission to resuscitate, and now you tell me that what I enjoy doing in my free time is dead? But my wine blog is only eight-years old, or do we count the age of blogs like we do in dog years - - or  more like in poodle years?

My blog didn't even reach adolescence and it certainly didn't even get a chance to fail at achieving an ego identity. But it appears from all of the chatter around me that we, my peers and I, are having an identity crisis. 

It is my sincere hope that we can get this figured out on who we want to be, dead or alive, by the time of the Wine Bloggers Conference in August at Portland, Oregon. That's right. I said, "Wine Bloggers Conference." I did not say, Wine Writers Conference, Dead Poodle Conference or even Carping Gadfly Conference ... 

Now I have to wonder - - for those who have vehemently insisted  we were no longer "wine bloggers," but wine writers and when it comes time for the Wine Blog Awards, will they want to collect a Wine Blog Award if they are indeed given one? Will they be too embarrassed to accept such an award or perhaps even send Sacheen Littlefeather to accept the award on their behalf?

Eight years ago, I thought I was signing up to be merely a wine blogger - a hobbyist. I didn't know I was also signing up to be a poodle, blobber, carping gadfly, moocher, wine writer, and not-a-wine-writer.

In the mean time, while all of you are trying to figure out what my identity is suppose to be, dead or alive, I will continue to keep on bloggin' ...

I Want to Be a Wine Blogger When I Grow Up.

It is very doubtful the GenY, GenX and the Boomer generations of wine lovers ever said, "I want to be a wine blogger when I grow up."  

My friend and wine blogging pal, Thea Dwelle of Luscious Lushes got me to thinking about this the other day after she posted the questions,  "Are writers bloggers? Are bloggers writers? Are we the same? Are we different? Should we play by the same rules? What’s going on here?"

Right.  What exactly is going on here?  I started this blog in 2005 and far too many times I  wouldn't talk about it in usual conversations or if someone mentioned my hobby to others, I usually brushed it off, while trying to change the subject.  The idea of wine blogging was just too hard to explain and too many times I was patronized with, "Oh isn't that cute, she writes about wines from Washington DC."  However, things have changed.  I no longer hide my hobby.  I am really proud of what it is and who wine bloggers are. 

Sometimes the public, members of the wine industry, and even wine writers  have looked at wine bloggers as if we were from another world. I especially noticed it at the Wine Bloggers Conference 2009 in Santa Rosa, CA.  There seemed to be several small groups of marketing people who followed some of us around and were quite captivated with the "care and feeding" of wine bloggers. 

Wine blogging is nothing new, but it has certainly evolved.  I'd like to think Robert M. Parker, Jr. as the first wine blogger.  He was an independent who wrote his own "wine consumer guide" and by 1978 he was sending his thoughts about wine via snail mail.  I can see him in my mind's eye now drafting his notes on a yellow legal pad from his law office and finalizing his notes on an old typewriter. 

If Parker would have started his quest to share his wine notes with others during the rise in technology, there would have been advantages to him such as digital communities such as Usenet and BBS (Bulletin Board Systems).  In many ways, these new online services were the earliest form of blogs with their continuing "threads" of single topics.  

Early blogs in the 1990's were really nothing but manually updated diaries or information on standard websites and weren't even referred to as "blogs."   It was later when we saw a unique class of online publishing software that produces the blogs we recognize today. 

So as the number of wine bloggers have grown and we are now holding our own conferences, seminars and being included on lists of media passes at wine events, we are now being scrutinized under the microscope by traditional wine media and even the wine industry.  Sure, we have been criticized by traditional wine media and even traditional media who now have their own wine blogs who will blog parental-type messages to us, "Don't do as I do.  Do as I say." 

In the mean time, wine bloggers are crying like a cheerleader who lost her pom-poms to the football team (if you know what I mean), "Please love me!  Please let me fit in your world oh great King of Wine Media."  And at the same time, we have traditional wine media calling us names such as, "Blobbers, Carping Gadflies and Butt Sniffing Poodles," while they are busy writing their own "new" wine blogs on their mountain tops they have built for themselves and even teaching seminars on wine blogging and social media. Then comes the buffers and the coaches.  They want to wave their magic wand over the wine bloggers and announce, "Ta-Daahh! You are now all wine writers instead of wine bloggers.  You can now enter the kingdom of wine media and go throughout the land feeling better about yourselves."

Here is what I know.  Here is what I was taught when I was a youngster dreaming about being a grade school music teacher and a book author when I grew up: I was taught when someone feels threatened and threatened beyond reason, they resort to name calling (Blobbers, Carping Gadflies, and Butt Sniffing Poodles) and in any kind of a fight or debate, when you resort to name calling, then you have lost the debate.  

As I wrote to Thea in her comment section, in this whole discussion of writer v. blogger, here are two things that I know of as being true for me when I sit down at my computer to write about wine:

When I send an invoice to a publisher and later receive a check in the mail, then and only then, I am a wine writer. When I write about wine during my free and personal time on my blog format with no assistance from an editor, then I am a blogger. Frankly? I am tired of everyone trying to gloss over the term “wine blogger” by trying to make it respectable in the eyes of traditional media. Who gives a flying f ... umm - - fig? Why do we care, especially when we see traditional wine media jumping on the wine blogging bandwagon?  We, as wine bloggers, must be doing something right.  

I am proud to be a wine blogger and the day we all gain that sense of pride and realize the milestones we have made and the crap we have overcome, the better off wine bloggers and the name "wine bloggers" will be.

It is possible though, that someday when we all get this new form of wine media figured out and what direction and the importance wine blogging has in today's wine media, there will be some enthusiastic teen ager with a gift for writing that will someday say, "I want to be a wine blogger when I grow up." 

Wine Bloggers Conference 2010: Follow Me in Walla Walla!

The flowers are blooming all over downtown Walla Walla and even part of the new highway is done! We are about as ready as we can be for the 300+ wine bloggers, media and other members of the wine industry to converge on Walla Walla for the Wine Bloggers Conference 2010! To answer a few questions:

So, what exactly is a wine blogger's conference?

In Walla Walla it will be three-days of academic sessions, keynote speakers (Steve Heimoff, author and West Coast Editor for the Wine Enthusiast magazine and Lettie Teague, formerly with Food and Wine magazine and now the Wall Street Journal), winery and vineyard excursions, great food experiences, including a local taco truck tasting and a food and wine pairing with Chef Jeffrey Saad from the Food Network. And last, but not of course the very least, is lots of wine tasting! There are even pre and post excursions going on through the State of Washington so wine bloggers can see the best of Washington State wineries. Several buses are rolling in tonight. And let it be known this is the third annual conference in North America and the first to sell out early. They are taking planes, buses and automobiles to find out what Walla Walla and her wines are all about!

Where will we be seeing wine bloggers? Are they friendly and approachable?

They will be migrating at the Marcus Whitman Hotel and you will see them out and about Friday evening enjoying the sights and sounds of downtown Walla Walla at Main. You may see groups of 25 or more at the various wineries and vineyards on Saturday. And yes, wine bloggers are known to be very friendly and approachable. Just don't call them "blobbers, gadflies or poodles."

And what about the Wild Walla Walla Wine Woman?

I will be roaming around Walla Walla according to the WBC agenda along with the rest of the citizen wine bloggers. This will be a new experience for me as I am going to try my best not to view Walla Walla as my 'hood, but look at it as a new-comer to Walla Walla, like the rest of my blogging collegues.

To get an update on what is going on with the wine bloggers and me, you can check us out on Twitter. The majority of the wine bloggers will be Twittering every move. In fact, Friday and Saturday afternoons you will find us tasting wine and reporting live using Twitter and Facebook. I will be laptop-will-travel and if there is a access I will be online. To look for specific tweets from Twitter, look for #WBC10 (see special Twitter widget) and follow us!

Wine Blobbers and Gadflies and Poodles! Oh My!

That's right fair citizens of Walla Walla. Save yourselves! The wine bloggers are coming to town! The wine bloggers are coming to town! Women and children first and then every man for themselves!

How will you know them? Look for computer geeks who never look up from their iPhones and laptops. Oh wait - never mind. Everybody is doing that now days. So how's this description? Ye shall know them by their fruits. (What? You mean there were evil wine bloggers even back in the biblical times? Did they use stone tablets?) Also, look for purple stained teeth and orange Cheeto dust under their fingernails. Another clue is transit bus passes hanging from their car keyrings.

For even easier identification, many wine bloggers may be wearing t-shirts that are printed #IBlameParker. Sometimes winebloggers will wear t-shirts identifying themselves by which state they hail from. I Drink 2 Buck Chuck is often worn by many of the California wine bloggers. New York wine bloggers can be identified by We make wine, too! So there! and then our own Washington State wine bloggers can be seen wearing their t-shirts printed, More Than Just Walla Walla. With the exception of me. I can usually be identified by a t-shirt that's printed, Live Walla Walla or Die! (with apologies to the state of New Hampshire) or sometimes I glue real Walla Walla Sweet Onions on my shirts.

You may even find a cluster of :-( frownie-faced wine bloggers wearing t-shirts printed, "Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones ... Neener, Neener, Neener!" You see, in recent press wine bloggers are being called names. They have been called names by the Best, the Worst and the Hosers. BOO-HOO! The "Best" being Robert Parker of the Wine Advocate. He bravely referred to wine bloggers on his "ebob" forum as "blobbers" since we are "the source of much of the misinformation, distortion, and egegious falsehoods spread with reckless abandon on the internet…" But then again, us blobbers question that Parker really even said that. Robert Parker is a good guy - an epitome of a Norman Rockwell painting as we saw in the documentary Mondovino. I mean, he looked liked the kindly and wise, Ward Cleaver - everybody's favorite TV Dad. I personally think Mark Squire the ebob forum boy, is the one who was guilty of calling us names. I think he did it while Parker was out on a wine tasting junket around the world. Besides, Parker would never call us, "Blobbers." because it's too close to his own name - Bob!

Then the "Worst" came when Anthony Dias Blue of the Tasting Panel Magazine called the wine bloggers, "... bitter, carping gadflies who, as they stare into their computer screens and contemplate their dreary day jobs, let their resentment and sense of personal failure take shape as vicious attacks on the established critical media." Hmmm ... shortly after that announcement, Mr Dias Blue participated in a wine conference where he was a moderator for a panel regarding social media and how the internet - from blogs to Twitter - is a buzz (Buzzing like a carping gadfly? Buzz ... Buzzz ...) with new social media tools and techniques for reaching, informing and entertaining tomorrow's wine consumer. So does this mean, what I think it means? Dias Blue moderated a bitter and resentful group that stared into their computer screens wishing they were him?

Last, but not least, the "Hosers." Wine blogger, Ron Hasham, aka the Hosemaster of Wines referred to wine blogging as "attention-seeking barking of lonely poodles." Oh yeah? Well, at least we can be pretty poodles and be dyed the happy pastel colors of Easter eggs and wear cool diamond collars and - and - stuff and then hang-out with Doris Day for the - ummm - - day. Afterall, wasn't it Sigmund Freud (or maybe it was Caesar Millan?) who said, "Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate."

Oh wait, now I get it! There's an order of "collective nouns" such as a covey of quails, a pod of whales, a gaggle of geese. That's what a collection of winebloggers are - a poodle of bloggers!

So as a Public Service Announcement to the kind people of Walla Walla: Load up on ice cubes and fire extinguishers. Remember, Steve McQueen talked his high school buds into stealing fire extinguishers to freeze the Blob until they could get a US Air Force jet to transport the Blob to the North Pole to keep it frozen infinity. Hold on, because it's going to be awhile before we get a US Air Force jet back in Walla Walla since the old Air Force barracks and hangars are now filled with wineries.

Also, don't forget the fly spray, fly swatters, several boxes of Poopy Pickup bags and bacon-flavored Beggin' Strips, because - -

the Wine Bloggers are coming to town!

Wine Netiquette

What is “netiquette,” you ask mon cheri? Why “netiquette” is network etiquette -- the etiquette of cyberspace.

Like any culture, cyberspace also has its own etiquette. If you were dining in Japan or a guest at the Rabbi’s Passover Seder, I mean, we wouldn't stick chopsticks in our nose to imitate a walrus nor would we bring a bacon cheeseburger to the Rabbi’s house now, would we? So, should we behave any different when we are in cyberspace?

Of all of the cyberspace groups I have been a part of, I think wine bloggers really give it their best - they are the best. Now let me say, I am not perfect in my netiquette. What you see on my blog, mouth and all, is pretty much my personality. What you read is what you get. But in spite of it all, I still remember the golden rules my parents and kindergarten teacher taught me and I really treasure Robert Fulghum’s, All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten.

Share everything, play fair, don’t hit people, say you are sorry when you hurt people, wash your hands before you eat, flush, hold hands and stick together, cookies and milk are good for you …

In fact, I think these rules should be a wine tourist's motto, of course trading out the milk for wine.

In the crazy, fast and free world of cyberspace, I think there should be one important rule: remember the human. We need to remember, what we pound out on the keyboard, would we be willing to say it to the person’s face? I probably would, but I also have to remember the mischief in my eyes, my scrunched up smirk, and the smart aleck tone in my voice (and even me sticking out my tongue like a juvenile) doesn’t always convey to everyone, only after they know me (So I apologize to anybody I may have offended this week - but, just this week).

Recently, I was seeking journalistic advice on an online message board. I was "told" by one of the journalists that my messages on that particular board needed some polish. I was told I was nothing but an amateur writer. I was told my sentences were clunky and often didn’t make sense.

Yeah, I know - sometimes. Again, I am not perfect, but nobody is harder on me - than me! Sometimes I even talk "clunky." Sometimes I stutter, twist words and cannot finish complete trains of thought. I forget. I've had a few head injuries in my youth and developed adult dyslexia. There are times I cannot read a newspaper article without it being a struggle. I use to be able to read a book in one night and now it can take me almost a month to process a book. Writing and blogging has helped. I think it has kept my noggin' from getting worse. I am grateful to my readers and editors who put up with my foibles.

So, did the criticism from this person hurt my feelings? Naahh. I considered the source. Was I surprised by the brazen tact? A little. But later it got me to thinking, wonder if that person said the same criticism to a very sensitive person whose feelings would be hurt or had a severe challenge? And in the end, what did this miserable source of criticism really hope to gain? Was it from their own source of insecurities? And if they had an opportunity to be with me in person, as well as with all of the people in the message board, would they have been able to say that to my face in front of all of these people?

Last year, some of the wine bloggers had a few heated debates in cyberspace with editors and wine enthusiasts, Robert Parker and Anthony Dias Blue. Sure, an emoticon of :-P (sticking out tongue) and a (_x_) (kiss my a ... well you get the message) was thrown around here and there. But hey, it was a debate of sorts - a disagreement. There is no doubt in my mind the same words would have been slung around even if the debate was face to face in a wine bar. But in my opinion, Parker and Dias Blue lost the debates, even with their best and most reasonable points.

They lost when they called the wine bloggers names in a magazine editorial and online. If either of these public speakers were addressing a group of wine bloggers at a seminar and a comment was made they didn't agree with, would Parker and Dias Blue address the group as "blobbers and bitter carping gadflies" for retaliation? I would hope not. It might stifle their careers a bit. So why should it be any different from the keyboard?

Two days ago I received an email from a woman who is a retired English teacher, recipe blogger and a wine lover. As a fun hobby, or she may even believe it is her calling from the Goddess of Grammar, she sends emails to owners of wine websites about their incorrect spelling and grammar. So, my offense was that I had used the word "compliment" instead of "complement." Now this woman didn't introduce herself and her approach was just, "You misspelled a word. Common error and you need to correct it."

Was I offended? Hell no! (I mean, "Heck no!") Was I surprised. Well, yeah because of the intrusion, so to speak, and without an introduction. My response? Like a playful cat, I knew I had a mouse I could bat around and have some fun with. After I got ahold of my uncontrollable giggling from daydreaming about Machiavellian tactics I could use, I looked her up on the web. I read her recipes and sent her an email. I asked her if she was the Chief of Spelling and will I be arrested if I didn't correct my spelling error?

I asked her if she typically spent her time correcting websites without any kind of introductions? I mean, approach and style is everything, right? I also pointed out she had several errors on her own blog, such as run-on sentences, over use of commas, and some sentences needing proper punctuation, but I would never dream of pointing out her errors without a proper introduction - -

Hello my name is Catie ...

She wrote me back and said I didn't need to be so defensive and there was nothing wrong with her written grammar. She said I should have been more appreciative of her wanting to help me, because everyone else is. To make a long story short, she apologized, I accepted her apology and we parted well with her leaving me a compliment (or was it a complement?)

It's nice to see young people taking the initiative to make something of themselves.

Now, what would I say to her if I ever meet her in person? I would introduce myself, give her a hug, and ask if she thought I made some thing of myself. Also, I would remind her to be cautious about using too many contractions in a sentence and that she should have put a period at the end of "It's important to whip your cream until it's stiff and let your meatloaf rest "

Cheers!

2010: Walla Walla Wines & The Blogger

Fellow Scotsman and Poet, Bobby Burns said it best:

Shid ald akwentans bee firgot,

an nivir brocht ti mynd?
Shid ald akwentans bee firgot,
an ald lang syn?

Huh?

First of all, let me tell you about the Who, What, Where and When of this blog. Oh yeah, even as we are surrounded with the best of technology, when I get introduced as “the blogger” I still get looks as if I am standing naked with three heads on my shoulder. And of course, it is the heads of: Marilyn Monroe, Marilyn Manson and Charles Manson. Then I am often asked, “What is a blogger?”

Well, if you are really curious what a blogger is, show up at the Marcus Whitman Hotel during the weekend of June 25, 2010 and you will see over 250+ of us from all over the United States and other parts of the world! Yeah, it took a lot of sweet-talking, escalating tears and tantrums, and threats of Voodoo induced cork tainted wine, but the Third Annual North American Wine Bloggers Conference has been taken out of Napa/Sonoma and placed in Walla Walla!

As I look back at this blog, I realize that 2010 will also mark the 5th Anniversary of “Through The Walla Walla Grape Vine.” Who knew when I first started my little online journal, I would still be here. I am now one of those “old-timers” who can actually say, “I remember when I was one of the first 300 wine bloggers many years, ago.” And yes, the world of wine blogging has grown. It has grown so much that we, without really trying, made traditional wine writers a little nervous and made them rethink wine journalism. The wise journalists took on the attitude of, “If we can’t beat 'em, join 'em," while others chose to express “sour grapes” by calling us names. Oh and we were called names by the best of the professionals, too. We were called “Blobbers” and my all time favorite name, which I still can’t help from giggling when I hear it, “bitter, carping gadflies.” Ahhh yes. Good times.

How often can my readers expect to hear from me? No less than four times a month, but hopefully more - - and when I am really on a roll, sometimes twice a week! Who and what do I blog about? Walla Walla and her wines - - and often, it is my view on the subject and not a reprint of the news.

Recently, the subject of how I review wines was brought up. Nope, I am not a fan of using points and QPR numbers (Quality per Ratio). I feel numbers are limiting. How do you sum up a wine to one number and especially if the wine has been given the deathly number of all - - 89! And wonder if I gave a wine a high number and a fellow blogger gave it a low number (or vice-versa). With that kind of confusion, you might decide not to even taste the wine.

What I hope to bring to my readers is the best features of the wine and most of all, the experience behind the wine. My palate is different than yours and of course, wines are subjective. So, my feelings are if I at least share the experience with you, no matter if the wine I discussed was difficult to find or unobtainable, you will still try another varietal and vintage from that winery. Or even at best - - any wine produced in the Walla Walla Valley.

I have been asked, "How come you haven't blogged about ABC or XYZ Cellars, yet?" My standard answer is this: "There are so many wineries and wines in Walla Walla and there is only one of me."

To all of the wineries in Walla Walla County: I love you all!

I wish I could write and blog all day long, but unfortunately it doesn't pay the bills. I work a full-time 8:30 - 5:00 office job during the day and I blog and do freelance wine writing in the evenings and weekends. Which means, my weekends are full just trying to catch-up with - - well - - "life."

Sometimes I need a little help and the best motivation is for a winery to invite me to a tasting. Also, if you have an experience or news going on at your winery, let me know (unfortunately, it is difficult for me to always post weekly events as I don't keep a calendar on the blog). So really - shoot me an email. I would love to talk with you about your wines.

For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

C~

It’s all your fault, you bunch of Wine Blobbers, you!

Here we go again. Last year it was the Wine Spectator who spoke out against the wine bloggers after the bloggers caught wind of the WS scandal regarding the magazine presenting one of their esteemed "Wine Spectator Award of Excellence!" to a faux restaurant. The scandal was exposed at the American Association of Wine Economist Conference 2008 and later on the AAWE wine blog.

Instead of the magazine explaining their error and mustering up a good defense, they took it to their WS Forums message board and spun the focus towards wine bloggers instead:

"This is the problem with the 'blogosphere'. It's a lazy person's journalism. No one does any real research, but rather they just slap some hyperlinks up and throw a little conjecture at the wall, and presto! you get some hits and traffic..." - James Molesworth, Senior Editor to the Wine Spectator

This year, and not to be outdone by Molesworth, Robert Parker of the Wine Advocate took his turn to speak out against those pesky wine bloggers and he also chose to do it on his eRobertParker.com message board, titled under “What bothers me about Wine Blogs... (and please note how I slapped some hyperlinks up)

“…looking at that Bloggers Conference, it does look like a big and free sloppy kiss and then some from the California wine industry...with much more than minimal hospitality offered...love to see some transparency from the bloggers(how many of them are paying for travel,car rental,hotels and meals?)...or should I say blobbers since they are the source of much of the misinformation, distortion, and egegious falsehoods spread with reckless abandon on the internet…" - Robert Parker, Founder Wine Advocate

Did Robert Parker just call us “blobbers?” That’s a pretty funny name, especially from a guy by the name of - - - Bob.

That’s right boys and girls. The lesson here is: when the crumbling cork gets shoved into your - - umm - - bottle of Chateau Petrus and you can’t finger it out or your worm on your favorite corkscrew gets all bent out of shape or when you catch a nasty case of pantie-scratching 2,4,6-trichloroanisole - - whadda ya do? Take it to your forum and blame the "wine blobbers!" Wine forums are known to hate-hate-hate those pesky self-proclaimed wine critics known as wine bloggers. Your online message board will stand behind you with a mob mentality assisted with the best AOL technology! You will be able to depend on your forum as they show their displeasure with frownie yellow faces holding wine glasses and their own platitudes of wine criticism and falsehoods and reckless abandon and…

But chin up wine blob…err.. bloggers everywhere! We are being recognized and bashed by the best! Sigh - - if only Al Gore would have gotten around to inventing the internet a little earlier, like back in the 1970’s when His Majesty Prince of Pointiness first introduced his vision of how wines should be critiqued, because Bob and his Bitches would have cornered this wine blogging thing and given us all some respectability!

Gosh, I sure hope I get some hits and traffic over this distorted reckless abandon of lazy person's journalism.